Part of my English project was modernizing Romeo and Juliet, then taking a character and using their perspective to summarize the story. I picked Benvolio.
WARNING- THIS IS UNDER THE CREATIVE COMMONS COPYRIGHT. Use and I will sue.
Benvolio’s Blog
So, everyone, there’s been plenty of debate as to what happened at the Capulet cemetery a few days ago.
One of the people who’s dead was kinda my best friend, and since one of the other people who died because of Romeo being a self centered prick was my other best friend, the Friar was kind enough to give me the details of what went down. Here it is:
At that party we went to a few days ago, Romeo met Juliet. Some mutual flirting went on, they exchanged screennames and fell madly in love. It wasn’t till the next day that they talked online and realized that they’d get a bunch of people killed if they decided to go get married. They did it anyway.
Apparently, Romeo had figured if they were married, the two families would be united and it’d be really hard for them to kill each other in good conscience. So, they met up with the friar and got married. The flaw in his plan was that the marriage was secret. Dumbass. Then Tybalt tried to whoop him for being at the party and Romeo was all “Dude, let’s not fight, I love you” and Tybalt thought he was making fun of him for those rumors about him and Balthasar that had been floating around forever, so he tried to kill him, which got Mercutio pissed, he attacked Tybalt and Tybalt attacked back, Romeo got in the way and Tybalt did this sneaky little stab that was big enough to kill Mercutio. One friend down, one to go. Oh yeah, then Romeo killed Tybalt, which got him banished.
Problem was, Lady Capulet set up a surprise wedding for Juliet and her ex-fiance, Paris. (Lady Capulet had no clue about the ex part, however. Can’t say I blame her. That Juliet chick obviously wasn’t too good about letting people know who she was with.) Since Juliet didn’t want to cheat on her husband (even though she had no problem going from someone’s fiancee one day to someone else’s wife the next), the Friar set her up with this sleep-of-death potion that made everyone think she was dead. Which was really not cool of the Friar, since this was pretty much Juliet’s fault anyways, taking Romeo on the rebound like that. Whatever. Doesn’t make any difference now.
Juliet got put in the Capulet crypt, Paris thought she was dead, and Friar Lawrence sent Romeo an email about how he had to come pick Juliet up from the crypt that night when the potion wore off. But Friar John was working on the WiFi network at the time, so Romeo never got the email. Balthasar had only heard the official story (that she was really dead), so he went and told Romeo that. Being the overemotional idiot he was, he went and bought some drugs to OD on off of that guy on High Street (yeah, a drug dealer on High Street, I know). He went to the crypt, but Paris was there, being a whiny little bitch as usual, saw Romeo, and had to fight with him because of the whole Capulets-hate-Montagues-Montagues-hate-Capulets thing. Romeo kicked his ass. Then Paris was all, “Lay me down with my love, blah blah blah,” before he died, so Romeo did. Although I seriously doubt he loved her. He must have done something pretty bad to make a clingy girl like her break up with him. Balthasar was eavesdropping, but he knew that Romeo’d kill himself one way or another. He and girls just don’t mix well.
He went into the crypt, made out with the “dead” girl, and killed himself. Then Friar Lawrence popped in as Juliet woke up, and since he’s a man of the cloth and all, he couldn’t lie. He told her about Romeo and Paris being dead. Then something scared him, and he left. Juliet killed herself.
I’m glad she’s dead. If she just acted like a normal Capulet, like she was above and beyond Romeo’s attention, then they’d all be alive. But no, she had to be all rebounding-clingy-looking-for-love. And she used Romeo. I know he wasn’t a saint, and that he was wicked blind when it came to girls, but I still think it’s her fault. He got over Rosaline, he could have gotten over her. But he won’t. He doesn’t get a chance to. He’s dead. So is Mercutio. But that’s more his fault, and Romeo’s. Mercutio shouldn’t have gotten involved, and Romeo shouldn’t have gotten between them. Mercutio’s death sucks, but it was an accident. Kind of my fault too, since I got Romeo to go to the party.
I’m moving away from Verona. I’m going to college in Japan for a few years, then I might come back. I can’t stand staying here anymore. This is, officially, the end of the blog. Bye.
~~Benvolio
Like it? Love it? Tell me what you think. Criticise it, whatever!
~~Tee
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